I keep asking myself, How much is enough? When can I rest at the end of the day and say, ah, good, I’ve done it?

Last week my doctor, dear man, spent a half hour answering my questions and explaining more about my heart and what I can and cannot do. He talked about something I’ve read and heard about a lot lately. If I remember correctly, you take 220 and subtract your age to find your maximum heart rate. Now you can’t stay at this rate of 100% for very long. Usually when exercise, you want to stay between 60 and 85% of your maximum heart rate. But then you want to bring back down to a good resting heart rate.

Today I was thinking about this formula. See, I’ve begun to realize that I cannot live surging forward at 100% every hour of every day. I can’t even do 80% all the time. I will wear out and not be worth much of anything. There’s so much I want to do. I easily worry. I easily become anxious.

But in the end, why I am running at all? It brings me joy, and I feel that I am alive. I can worry about every little finite detail, or I can fix back on my focal point: the champion of my faith. I don’t understand this concept. This faith of mine is ever filled with questions and wonderings. It is also filled with living each day and seeing how He does guide me, whether I understand it or not.

So here I am: running and resting and living with focus.

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