Archive for July, 2011


I keep asking myself, How much is enough? When can I rest at the end of the day and say, ah, good, I’ve done it?

Last week my doctor, dear man, spent a half hour answering my questions and explaining more about my heart and what I can and cannot do. He talked about something I’ve read and heard about a lot lately. If I remember correctly, you take 220 and subtract your age to find your maximum heart rate. Now you can’t stay at this rate of 100% for very long. Usually when exercise, you want to stay between 60 and 85% of your maximum heart rate. But then you want to bring back down to a good resting heart rate.

Today I was thinking about this formula. See, I’ve begun to realize that I cannot live surging forward at 100% every hour of every day. I can’t even do 80% all the time. I will wear out and not be worth much of anything. There’s so much I want to do. I easily worry. I easily become anxious.

But in the end, why I am running at all? It brings me joy, and I feel that I am alive. I can worry about every little finite detail, or I can fix back on my focal point: the champion of my faith. I don’t understand this concept. This faith of mine is ever filled with questions and wonderings. It is also filled with living each day and seeing how He does guide me, whether I understand it or not.

So here I am: running and resting and living with focus.


Unless You Run

“You shouldn’t run. There are other exercises you can do.”

For a while I listened and thought, OK, I can do yoga, walk, ¬†some video exercise. After all, I need to do what’s best for my heart, and running doesn’t seem to be what’s best. The twenty-four hour halter monitor showed that while I had been jogging, my heart rate had gone up to 189 beats per minute. No wonder I felt dizzy afterward.

When I sat in the doctor’s office yesterday, he offered various routes we could take. He said that the choice was up to me: what did I want. I leaned forward and told him, “I want to run. So I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever I need to do, to run, not lightly jog, but run.”

Because there’s nothing like it. I am tired of walking and jogging when I have this desire to blaze down the road and burn up the pavement. I remember being in the gym at school one day and seeing this guy full out run. As his arms and legs pumped and flew, I thought, That’s what I want to do.

Tonight I watched the movie Secretariat, which was surprisingly good. I admire the main character, how she won’t back down and how she fights hard despite the risks. One line of hers stood out to me:¬†“You never know how far you can run unless you run.”

I want to find out.